Challenges

Recently I was challenged. Not by a student or community member on a belief, but what I stood for as a woman, person, and human. Coming to Nepal, I was willing to adapt to the culture as long as it didn’t compromise my core values or beliefs, and I was okay with that. I was okay with what being a foreigner and woman meant here. But, I knew that if I was challenged beyond this, to where my heart lays, I would have to stand firm.
While this sounds great and a Go You, moment, in reality, having something you are strongly committed to challenged, is more difficult then I expected. I thought that if it happened I would just react, but to be honest, I think it is easier in those moments to do nothing then to do what you know is right. It is in these moments that I have even more respect for those who fought for what they believed in, in a world that was trying to stop them. It is because of this experience that I have stopped romanticizing the idea of social justice. It is easy to hold a sign at a protest, get in arguments at a bar, or write an editorial, but when the time comes to actually do something, will you?
My answer was always “Of course!” But when the time came, I wanted nothing more then to back away, to forget that I cared about these things. So for a week I wrestled. I wrestled with the voice in my head that said “You know nothing positive will come from this, just move on.” I wrestled with the pros and cons lists I kept writing. I wrestled with what am I expected to do; as a JV, as an American in a foreign place, as a human being. And then I finally wrestled with my heart which said “How can you do nothing?” And as most discernments it was my heart that won, and so I took a stand, with trembling hands, legs, and voice, but with a strong heart and community behind me.
And while I do not think anything will come from this, I do know that even if nothing happens, it is an injustice to not do something. And I have also learned that there is more to social justice and call to action then just fancy words or talk, it is about finding something you believe in and care enough about that you are willing to risk yourself for it. And while it is never easy, if you are not willing to stand against it then you are standing for it.