The Power and The Glory

I just finished reading Ghram Greene’s The Power and The Glory which was a really good read. It had a Steinbeck feel to it. There was a part in it when the main character, an exiled priest, is back in a safe area, and he is thinking of how quickly he is adopting to this life he knew before being exiled, and how easily he was forgetting what he learned in the struggles of exile. This part really sticks with me, because in a world of Targets and Starbucks, where will Nepal fit in?
I love Target, I love being able to run down the road and have everything I need in one store, I love hot showers, I love the feeling of walking into a heated house, fresh clothes from the dryer, white chocolate macchiatos, with skim milk, easy on the foam; all of these that are so clearly western and a symbol of a comfortable life. But I also have the same love for a good Dhaal Bhatt, sitting in a room with the cooking fire, scrubbing clothes on a cement floor, bucket showers, the stinging cold, all that are very much Nepal. But as difficult as it was to come to love these things, how easy will it be to fall back in love with home?
I have learned so much here that I don’t want to forget. The smell of a crisp morning, the warmth of a good cup of chiyaa, how walking doesn’t limit your destinations, rather expands them. How happiness can be found in strangers and the chance encounters, communication and language are more then words, dish hands are as beautiful as smooth ones, hospitality isn’t just a word it’s a belief, children deserve more attention then leaders, you lose so much when you surround your self with “conveniences,” people will let you down, but those who matter lift you back up, there is beauty of the simple living of each day, of calling home, home, of family, and most importantly how easy it is to forget all of this when things are difficult.
So what will happen, when I home and it’s not easy to live simply? When it is a cold day and it will be easy to hop in a car for a 10 minute ride, as oppose to walking or taking my bike. What will I chose? Or when those cute shoes I don’t need go on sale? When life is easy to escape in front of the TV. Will I remember the moments here when I found peace journaling in the sun on a beautiful winter day? Or will I get in the car and stop at a Starbucks on the way to the store?
How much have I really let Nepal infiltrate my life? Or is it nothing more then experiences to e-mail friends about, or a good bar story when I come home…This time I lived in Nepal. How do I make this more then a badge to wear when it benefits me?
I am not saying I want to forget what made me happy when I was home, because I need to remember that, I need to find the good in going back. But I want to take away the superficial of it. I will still drink Starbucks, and go to Target, but not to fill my life with things, but because I like the one on one time going to Target on Sundays gives me with my mom, I like being able to talk to Sarah about things only she would understand on the way to Starbucks. These interactions are why I should go, not because I am bored and am looking for something to fulfill me. I want to go home with what really does fulfill me. Nature, conversation, reading, passions that actually do fill me, and not just give me fleeting moments of happiness. So that when I do feel restless, I grab my bike and go for a ride, call a friend, write a letter, do the things I have discovered here that make me feel genuinely happy, fulfilling me with out filling my life or closet with the unnecessary.
I have realized that what I look forward to about home has changed. When I first got here I couldn’t wait to have a Portillo’s cheeseburger, or new earrings, or a sweater from the Gap. But now it’s the idea of a baseball game with Sheila, or a concert with Sarah and Michael, walks with Riley, snow, Christmas lights, family dinners, riding my bike, Dad laughing, lawn mowers; things I never I knew I loved. It’s these things that we come to miss when the superficial fall away. When owning 5 t-shirts seems a bit much, when water tastes just as good as soda, when you crave Dhaal Bhatt as much as cheese fries; when you let what is important and what is present take over. Something I hope to always be challenged by.